It’s also Bucky being more than a little upset that they turned his gentle, harmless friend—who Bucky wanted to PROTECT from the horrors of war—into a fighting machine.
was that really necessary
it’s also Bucky realizing that he can no longer protect his best friend no matter how hard he tries. he’s utterly helpless now, even after the war is over. they’ll always be wanting steve to fight this or that, and bucky won’t be able to do a darn thing to protect him.
It’s also Bucky taking the 5 seconds he has of Steve not paying attention to him so he can allow himself to process all these emotions without worrying Steve. If you watch Bucky through the movies, you’ll notice he always makes sure to look like he’s 100% fine if other people are looking at him. Fighting with Steve, but smiling at their dates. Recently tortured, but walking confidently by Steve’s side. Basically a mess, but all “Let’s hear it for Captain America!” It’s a pattern, really. Even in the flashback in CATWS, you can see he looks a lot less confident when Steve isn’t looking at him than when Steve is.
Also, Seb has mentioned that researching WW2, what left the deepest impression was how quickly everybody dies. You get attached to someone only to watch their heads being blown up in front of you the next day. I’m sure this influenced how he chose to act this scene. Because you can bet by the time this scene takes place, Bucky has seen many people – hell, maybe even friends – die, and recently, he’s had to see his whole unit be killed or captured by HYDRA. This certainly plays a role here. It’s not just a general sense of “I can’t protect Steve anymore,” it’s more like “I don’t know if Steve will live till next week.” It’s very real, very immediate. It’s a concrete prediction more than a vague fear. And if Steve’s survives, there’s still the fact Bucky knows what’s like to be changed by war, and Steve will be changed by it, which Bucky certainly hates. Either way, he loses the Steve he knew, even more than he’s already lost, with the whole “Steve Rogers is suddenly a super soldier” deal.
I’d say this scene is wartime Bucky in a nutshell. He handles the entire crowd and this whole Captain America propaganda thing without hesitation, he smiles at Steve and makes sure Steve enjoys the moment instead of pulling some “I did my duty” bullshit, and only then he allows himself to be overwhelmed by the fear that comes with being able to think 48923740 worst case scenarios in two seconds. If we can trust interviews with cast and crew, this eventually becomes his role in the war, basically – he thinks fast and does his job protecting Captain America and the missions, he takes care of Steve on a personal level by shielding him from the worst of the war as much as he can, and only then, if there’s time and Steve isn’t looking, he thinks about how the war is affecting him.
But anyway, overall, this scene is about overwhelming loss of everything Bucky knows, as well as an attempt to hide this as well as he can. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that in the 4th and 5th gifs, Seb looks a lot like comics!Bucky does when he says goodbye to his younger sister, thinking he’ll never see her again and almost breaking down in tears, but unwilling to show her he’s scared. For your reference:
I feel compelled to explain what they are so that those who might be writing fanfictions or doing roleplays will know what these medals mean and imply.
Presidential Unit Citation Badge: This is awarded to a unit for gallantry and determination in accomplishing…
Wonder if he’s gotten other medals since then. I’d say he’d get at least the Medal of Honor for that final Red Skull mission right?
I’m just going to do this, because I spent a couple of months reading up on US military awards when I was writing for A-Team and for god’s sake I may as well put that to use.
1: Yeah, he’s probably got the Medal of Honor. He deliberately sacrificed his life to ditch a monstrous Nazi flying wing that was going to destroy New York City. That’s basically how you earn one.
In fact you can read through the names of US service personnel recipients and the deeds for which they were awarded the Medal of Honor on the Army’s website: http://www.army.mil/medalofhonor/recipients.html
Once you get started reading that, it is actually hard to stop. This, my friends, is a list of stone-cold balls-to-the-wall heroism. The lesser actions are humbling. The greater ones are jaw-dropping.
2: I wouldn’t be surprised if the DOD does in fact have a protocol for people who turn out not to be dead to receive previously posthumous awards (I mean, it’s a line of work where it could conceivably happen), but I don’t know what it is and am not dedicated enough to look it up. But a fic where he had to go through a ceremony where he was recognized with one long-delayed medal after another, turning progressively redder with self-consciousness, would be pretty darned hilarious.
Medals and awards he might have earned (all the medals and awards Steve would definitely have for his service in the WWII European theater, plus basically a systematic list of awards granted for being a big damn hero):
Medal of Honor (I’m betting)
Distinguished Service Cross (possibly: extraordinary acts of heroism or merit which don’t qualify for the Medal of Honor; if they didn’t give him the Medal of Honor for raiding that facility and saving 40+ Allied POWs, they might have given him this)
The Silver Star (possibly; awarded for gallantry in action that doesn’t qualify for the Distinguished Service Cross, so if they didn’t give him the Distinguished Service Cross, they almost certainly gave him this)
The Soldier’s Medal (possibly; acts of heroism not involving conflict with an enemy, e.g. rescuing a comrade from a burning building)
The Bronze Star (probably, possibly multiple times; acts of heroism, merit, or meritorious service in a combat zone)
In order of precedence, the Purple Heart goes here
Army Commendation Medal (probably, and probably with oak clusters for multiple awards; for heroism, meritorious achievement or service ranking below the Bronze Star; otherwise known as ‘Steve’s average day’)
Army Good Conduct Medal (can you doubt?—in wartime, awarded for one year of good service, unsullied by marks against your record—although ironically he probably doesn’t have this in comics continuity, because he was always deliberately getting into minor trouble in order to get into costume and hero up)
World War II European African Middle Eastern Campaign Medal (definitely; awarded for active service in these theaters of war)
World War II Victory Medal (definitely; awarded for active service in WWII)
The Howling Commandos may have also received other unit awards, awarded for various exceptional services and deeds. As a member, Steve would have these as well. (Unit awards are worn on the right breast; individual awards on the left.)
Now, there’s the question of whether he’s technically still in the service of the US military after he wakes up. SHIELD, while it existed, was a UN operation (probably; maybe; kinda-sorta?). In the real world, the UN has no standing troops of its own. Personnel are ‘loaned’ by member nations. So…is he a SHIELD operative, or an active US Army officer operating under SHIELD’s command?
If he’s still in the service of the US Army, then he’s got a few additional retroactive medals coming his way, and the potential to earn more. These include:
Defense Meritorious Service Medal (possibly; this is what they’d give him for heroism beyond the call of duty for military service with SHIELD or…god knows how the Avengers rate)
Joint Service Commendation Medal (possibly, if he’s awarded for exemplary military service with SHIELD)
National Defense Service Medal (definitely, if he’s still considered US Army active service)
Army Service Ribbon (he would’ve been awarded this retroactively after he woke up, assuming he’s still on active duty)
Army Overseas Service Ribbon (retroactive, assuming he’s still on active duty)
OH THANK GOD FOR YOU. Because I KNEW that Steve’s current dress uniform NOW would have more medals than the picture shows up (understandable, because that’s a photo taken in Steve’s career).
I honestly think he’s still active U.S. Army, just loaned out to SHIELD, since SHIELD, actually, is the new SSR.
A few things I’m imagining in this scenario:
a. Somebody more knowledgeable than me has said that Steve, whether or not he’s currently active US Army in the canon MCU ‘verse, should have gotten several promotions over the years he’s been MIA. So unless I’m wrong, Steve’s actual rank now is Colonel? Possibly higher? (Hi, Hannibal! – not the serial killer cannibal dude, i mean the A-Team guy) I’m betting they just call him “Captain Rogers” since “Colonel America” doesn’t have the same ring to it.
b. So basically, I need to write yet another fic (I know there are others out there), in which Steeb needs to get his medals sorted out and he’s EMBARRASSED AS ALL HELL because he’d really, REALLY rather not have all this fuss and maybe BUCKY guilts him into it, only for BUCKY to have the tables turned on him because, basically, due to the fact that’s he’s really the country’s longest-held POW and all the shit he’s been through? He also deserves a few medals (plus his own promotions) of his own!
c. The fact that Steeb is active US Army amuses the HELL out of me. And basically, who among the brass is going to ATTEMPT to put the whole chain of command thing on Steve? Can you imagine Ross trying to go toe to toe with Steve regarding the Hulk? Steve’s going to unleash epic hell on him for that one. (Oh dear Lord, what if Steve’s actual rank now is really General or if they attempted to bump him up to that but he initially refused but then decided to agree, if only because it would protect Bruce from Ross? Especially if Steve gets more stars than Ross does?)
god i can’t get over steve “he’s alive” rogers walking down that hall, sam on one side natasha on the other, knowing he found bucky. he found bucky and bucky knows him. DID he fuck up. yes. is bucky in captivity, aka, the last thing in the world he wants. yes. but bucky’s alive, and he knows him. in every operable sense of the word, bucky’s alive. steve’s got his people on either side and he’s humming with whatever plan he’s fighting to come up with to get bucky out of there. this is the best day steve’s had in five years. bucky’s alive. it’s his best day. he’s alive. that’s all that matters.
hannahbelleeeebackup 