The thing about reading fanfic (and original slash fic) is that you get used to that particular writing/reading culture after a while. You get used to the frank discussions of sexuality and kink, the close attention to diversity and social justice issues in the text, the unrestrained creativity when it comes to plot. The most amazing, creative, engaging stories I’ve ever read have almost all been fanfiction, and I think part of that is because there’s no limitations placed on the authors. They’re writing purely out of joy and love for the world and its characters, with no concerns about selling the finished product. The only limit is their imagination.
Next to that, most mainstream fiction starts tasting like Wonder Bread, you know?
The more I think about the opening scene in Civil War, the more I’m convinced that HYDRA only fed Bucky intravenously. He never had actual food.
Because the Soviets defrosted Bucky, dragged him to the chair and shocked him, and then prepped him for a mission; HYDRA did the same thing in CATWS. In both scenes you can see an IV connected to his arm, as well as all the tubes connected to Bucky while in cryo. He also ignored Pierce’s offer for milk (which was sarcastic, but still), and he’s never seen eating and/or drinking as the Soldier – there’s not even a cup of water sitting nearby in the prep stations.
It’s no wonder that Bucky took such pleasure in buying a few plums – after decades, he can finally have real food.
“WRITE IT BADLY. Write it badly, write it badly, write it badly, write it badly. Stop what you’re doing, open a Word document, put a pencil on some paper, just get the idea out of your head. Let it be good later. Write it down now. Otherwise it will die in there.”
— Brandon Sanderson on overcoming writer’s block to create a first draft as a professional author (via almost-always-eventually-right)
The real writer experience is standing in the shower and coming up with the most authentic dialogue with perfect phrasing and raw emotion in your head, then stepping out and drying your hair, putting on some clean pajamas and opening a word document to write down all your perfect ideas only to realize everything has evaporated.
I FEEL CALLED OUT
Never lose a perfect shower line again.*
*Remember to erase promptly if you share a bathroom with anyone.
I’ve used these to outline term papers. nothing like a bath to get your brain to finally kick into gear and figure out your damn thesis
Once Steve gets over the shock of seeing Bucky again, once he’s thinking about what Zola did, all he can hear echoing through his mind is
I should have known.
He should have known because when he pulled Bucky out of Zola’s lab, he could barely walk, but he marched back to base at Steve’s side, under his own power.
He should have known because none of the injuries Bucky suffered in the field took the way they ought to have.
He should have known because while the Howling Commandos fought their way through Europe, Bucky was always at his side, always keeping pace with him.
He should have known because Bucky shouldn’t have been able to keep up with him, and he always, always did.
He should have known, but he didn’t – because his whole life, he’d been trying to keep up with Bucky.
And it never once occurred to him that Bucky shouldn’t be able to keep up with a super soldier. Because Steve was the super soldier, and of course Bucky could keep up with Steve. Because Bucky had always been ahead of Steve, and Steve’s new body just meant he could catch up.
It just meant Steve and Bucky were finally side by side, just like they were always supposed to have been.
This hurt me.
And yet I accept it completely.
Not only that, you’ve got to think Steve is going to wonder why Bucky DIDN’T say anything to him. Bucky had to be aware SOMETHING was going on, even if he didn’t know what. And he chose not to tell Steve, more than likely from a combination of issues over Steve suddenly not exactly being STEVE, and also because Steve was pretty preoccupied. But that’s going to hurt Steve when he thinks about it, not only because he didn’t notice, but because Bucky didn’t confide in him. For whatever reason, Bucky shut him out there and that’s going to hurt. Steve’s going to wonder if maybe Bucky was hoping he’d notice and he didn’t. So many little signs Steve just didn’t notice because he always thought about Bucky a certain way and didn’t take into account he SHOULDN’T be able to do what he was doing.
And Steve is so smart. He’s able to pick up things so quickly. He knew something was happening with Bucky, but he didn’t push the issue. He didn’t really sit down with Bucky and try to get him to confide in him. He was fighting a war and time was vital, so when Bucky didn’t volunteer his issues, Steve didn’t press.
Not having a serious discussion with Bucky is going to hurt Steve.