assetandmission:

1930s Bucky being queer and in the closet.

Bucky knowing he’s different as a child, and knowing he should never, ever tell anyone. Always wanting to be around Steve, and touch Steve, and make Steve smile. Sharing a bed with Steve during sleepovers until his mother tells him they’re too old for that kind of thing. Teaching himself to flirt with girls, to talk about girls, to charm them and pass. Bucky being terrified of confession at church, because he thinks the priest will know just by looking at him. 

Bucky as a teenager, watching the dock workers in the summertime, butterflies in his stomach. Trying to work up the nerve to go to a bar, but being unable to walk in the front door. Following a guy into an alley, his heart pounding the entire time, too scared to do it again. Jealously watching Steve watch girls, and draw girls, and knowing that Steve isn’t like him. Bucky dating those girls, flirting with and kissing them in public, but gently pushing them away in private. Being so angry at the world, because he’s done nothing wrong, so why him?

Going to war, and writing Steve letters every chance he can, more honest than he’s ever been before. Those letters coming back ‘Returned to Sender’, and Bucky being terrified that something has happened to Steve. Bucky strapped to Zola’s table, knowing he’s going to die, wondering if he’ll see Steve again. Being rescued by a different Steve – a Steve who almost died to save him – and realizing his chance. Steeling himself to tell Steve at the bar… and then watching Steve’s face when he sees Peggy in the red dress.

#headcanons#stucky#this is the headcanon that comes to my mind most often#There’s never enough 1930s In The Closet Bucky#it’s so angsty but plotty and excellent