crackdkettle:

I keep thinking about the huge difference between Bucky asking T’Challa, “Where’s the fight?” and Bucky telling Steve he’s “not bad, for the end of the world.”

Talking to T’Challa he’s upset but resigned, he won’t even meet T’Challa’s eyes as he asks a question he doesn’t want an answer to and braces himself for something he wants nothing to do with.

But when he sees Steve his attitude has completely turned around: he’s grinning ear to ear, his tone is light, he even huffs a little laugh.

I think there are two things going on here. First, Bucky’s never happier than when he’s with Steve. He’s genuinely happy when he sees Steve because he’s always happy to see Steve. He loves Steve.

And that’s the second thing going on here.

Because this is Bucky in full-on you look sad when you think he can’t see you mode. What’s going on here is the same thing that’s going on in The First Avenger when Bucky shouts, “Let’s hear it for Captain America!” and grins at Steve and then the second Steve looks away lets his face fall.

T’Challa is right: Bucky is tired of war. Bucky never wanted to go to war the same way Steve did in the first place, and he certainly doesn’t want any part of it now.

But Bucky loves Steve, and Steve is going to be part of this fight. And if Steve is going to be part of it, Bucky’s going to be part of it too — that’s the promise he made on a front porch and the promise he screamed in a burning warehouse seventy-five years and a lifetime ago.

And he can’t have Steve feeling guilty about that.

So he smiles, he laughs, he jokes. He makes sure Steve knows he’s fine, he’s ready, he has no reservations about being part of this fight. He does everything he can to relieve Steve of any burden of guilt.

Because Steve might not need him to protect his body anymore, but Bucky will never stop trying to protect his heart.